My husband and I were at Costco today to get food for a dinner we were having. We were in line at the checkout and I realized we had a lot of items and I hadn't brought bags. So I asked Eric to go get a box. Ya know, they have all these boxes at Costco for you to put your stuff in. Here's the convo:
Me: Can you go grab a box for some of this stuff?
E: What kind of box (looking confused)?
Me: Just a box, I don't care.
E: Really, because you are usually pretty particular about things?
Me: Just get a box!
Seriously people, he looked afraid to go and get a box!
Me: Why are you being so weird about getting a box?
E: I just don't want to get yelled at for getting the wrong kind.
Mother of Pearl on a stick! I swear to you that I am not that bad. I'm not *THAT* wife that would yell at her husband in frickin' Costco about getting the wrong box.
Will someone please tell Eric that he has it pretty good! Please?? Because, apparently he thinks I'm a ball buster of monster proportions.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sunday, June 9, 2013
This is the Stuff
As I sit here and listen to my mother-in-law, nephew, niece and son play Apples to Apples this morning, I know this is where I am supposed to be. This week has been full of ups and downs, but this kind of family time is the handrail I hang onto when things throw me off balance. This is the stuff that gets me through the hardest times.
Minor daily disasters (and we know I have MANY of those), just do not matter when someone you love is facing a life threatening disease. Through everything that happened this week, I just kept my brother-in-law Philip in the forefront of my mind. This is nothing, I thought. This will pass, I thought. Nothing is going to get in the way of this weekend with family, I thought.
It was the perfect family weekend. I watched my kids play with their cousins. I laughed with my sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law as we all made inappropriate jokes. We ate lots of great food (too much perhaps), the kids swam and played Rock Band. Philip joined in when he felt well enough and rested a lot. We all worried. We are all very worried. We all want to fix this. We are willing this "call" to come and save our son/husband/father/brother/uncle from this unfair sentence. So, we laugh as we worry. We pray and hope as we worry. We try to enjoy this time with each other while we are screaming in our heads, "We NEED this call, NOW!!!"
Through it all, we LAUGH! As my mother-in-law said, "Why cry over spilled toilet water?" Indeed, Sandra, indeed.
Minor daily disasters (and we know I have MANY of those), just do not matter when someone you love is facing a life threatening disease. Through everything that happened this week, I just kept my brother-in-law Philip in the forefront of my mind. This is nothing, I thought. This will pass, I thought. Nothing is going to get in the way of this weekend with family, I thought.
It was the perfect family weekend. I watched my kids play with their cousins. I laughed with my sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law as we all made inappropriate jokes. We ate lots of great food (too much perhaps), the kids swam and played Rock Band. Philip joined in when he felt well enough and rested a lot. We all worried. We are all very worried. We all want to fix this. We are willing this "call" to come and save our son/husband/father/brother/uncle from this unfair sentence. So, we laugh as we worry. We pray and hope as we worry. We try to enjoy this time with each other while we are screaming in our heads, "We NEED this call, NOW!!!"
Through it all, we LAUGH! As my mother-in-law said, "Why cry over spilled toilet water?" Indeed, Sandra, indeed.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
A Series of Unfortunate Events
Today started like a typical Sunday: wake up a little later than usual, drink coffee, decide to go for a walk. Well, perhaps I should have stopped at coffee because that's where the day went awry. I started out the front door for my walk and this is what I saw:
My husband, the groundhog hunter, had captured another one of our uninvited house guests. I will call this unfortunate event number 1. After telling my husband of his victory over the 4th groundhog in a series of ??? groundhogs, I left for my walk. While on my walk, my oldest son Aidan texted me that he would like to be picked up from his sleepover. No problem, I'll be there after my walk. When I returned from my walk Eric and Tanner were gone to release the groundhog in my van. This forced me to take Eric's car to pick up Aidan. Unfortunate event #2. I got Aidan and returned home and opened the garage door where Eric's car is normally parked. Instead I see lawn equipment. Hmm, ok he must be changing where he parks to the other side of the garage. I have no opener for that side. So, I just park E's car in the driveway-unfortunate event #3. Later when I leave to take Tanner to tennis, I get in my van and back out of my usual garage spot and, you guessed it-completely forgot that E's car was in an unusual place.
This series of unfortunate events led to this outcome. Please note that my husband just recently got his car (the red one) back from the repair shop for $600 worth of damage done to the opposite side by a pothole the size of a small elephant. Well, I didn't want this side to feel left out. For some reason when I look at these pictures, I want to yell, "The van is the winner! The van is the winner!" But, I guess that wouldn't be wise.
This series of unfortunate events led to this outcome. Please note that my husband just recently got his car (the red one) back from the repair shop for $600 worth of damage done to the opposite side by a pothole the size of a small elephant. Well, I didn't want this side to feel left out. For some reason when I look at these pictures, I want to yell, "The van is the winner! The van is the winner!" But, I guess that wouldn't be wise.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
We Bought a House
If you've seen the movie "We Bought a Zoo" then you know exactly what my life has been like since moving into this 17 year old house ten days ago. Except without the tigers. But, we have groundhogs, which are clearly more entertaining. We have been very fortunate in our married life to move into 2 newly built homes. We even rented a newly built home in California. I feel like we took very good care of all of our homes, even our rental. We made repairs, updates, kept things clean and well, just acted like a fricking grown ups! So, imagine my rude awakening upon moving into a home where little to no maintenance has been done in the past 4-10 years. Everything on this house is original. The people who built it in 1996 wanted Victorian and custom. There is a ton about this house that we instantly loved! The screened in porch, the oversized three car garage, the pool (what was I thinking?).
But, we have just had to fix a cajillion things since moving in. The water heater sounds like the one on the All State Mahem commercial. The pool filter is weak and fading fast, the groundhog family living under the porch has a system of holes and tunnels that surely must lead to China. I know we bit this off willingly and we will fix it all. One. thing. at. a time. But, my gawd, I am too OCD for this shit! One source of daily frustration is in our master bathroom. The toilet closet has a toilet that is too large to actually get the door past it. That's as far as the door will go.
I know what you are thinking. You are picturing me squeezing past the door and toilet. Yep, that's what I do, every day. Several times a night, in fact. It's lovely.
I am grateful to the previous owners for taking down all the ugly ass Victorian wallpaper that used to cover the interior walls. But, they left us all these wonderful shiny gold light fixtures. Pretty sure they haven't been dusted in 17 years. Here's the one I keep hitting my head on several times a day:
I'm pretty sure that's why one of the lamp thingies is tilted. From my head.
Stay tuned for more exciting episodes of whatever the hell this house has in store for us. We're all happy to be home, even if the home is fighting back a little.
But, we have just had to fix a cajillion things since moving in. The water heater sounds like the one on the All State Mahem commercial. The pool filter is weak and fading fast, the groundhog family living under the porch has a system of holes and tunnels that surely must lead to China. I know we bit this off willingly and we will fix it all. One. thing. at. a time. But, my gawd, I am too OCD for this shit! One source of daily frustration is in our master bathroom. The toilet closet has a toilet that is too large to actually get the door past it. That's as far as the door will go.
I am grateful to the previous owners for taking down all the ugly ass Victorian wallpaper that used to cover the interior walls. But, they left us all these wonderful shiny gold light fixtures. Pretty sure they haven't been dusted in 17 years. Here's the one I keep hitting my head on several times a day:
Stay tuned for more exciting episodes of whatever the hell this house has in store for us. We're all happy to be home, even if the home is fighting back a little.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
There's Shake in Your Hair
It has been a long time since my last post. While I've thought many times in the last 2 and a half months about writing, I've never seemed to MAKE the time. But, today I knew I HAD to make the time. Why? What's so amazing that I have to share it? Did I get an award? No. Did I win the lottery? No (and I wish). Did Adam Levine show up at my house and ask me out on a date? Sadly, no. But, this story is what my blog is all about. Who do you want to tell when you really make a mess of things? Your friends. So, my friends, here is a little story about how your graceful and talented friend Jen ended up wearing her breakfast. Enjoy!
I was up and ready in plenty of time to make it to work not just on time today, but early. I would even have time to drop off Aidan on my way. Today was to be my 3-month evaluation at work. Call me crazy, but I was excited and looking forward to it. I ironed nice pants. I put on mascara. I really HATE putting on mascara. I complimented myself silently about making the effort to look a tad bit better than average today.
My new morning routine (now that I have a job and have a routine) includes making myself a protein smoothie which I drink as my breakfast. It makes me happy. Why? Because it fills me up, it's yummy and it's easy to take with me to work. Yep, that's me- all together and makin' my protein smoothie in the morning. La-dee-da! Feeling this good about myself this morning, I should have known that disaster was looming around the corner.
Aidan and I made our way to the van and headed off to his school. About half way there I picked up my QT cup (GOOD GAWD, people, I MISS QT!) to take a drink. Picked it up, not by the handle, which would have made the morning turn out just fine, but by the lid. At which point, the entire cup (It's a 34 oz. cup about 1/2 full) dropped straight back down into the cup holder. The lid was apparently not on all the way (rookie mistake). But, honestly, this is WHY I carry the drink in a grown up version of a sippy cup. I am not the most graceful person on the planet (sorry if you had other ideas about me). I know what I'm capable of and it is not pretty.
The force with which the cup fell was supersonic or something b/c it literally exploded all over me, between the seats and center console of my van, as well as all over the dash and driver's side window. Aidan, sitting in the passenger seat, was spotless. I pulled over immediately and tried not to speak. As I looked for napkins, I glanced at Aidan who looked, well, petrified. Pretty sure he thought my head was going to pop off.
After patting at the mess with a few meager napkins (anyone for cleaning up an entire bucket of water with one Kleenex?), I decided to continue driving Aidan to school. I dropped him off and he said, "Sorry about your shake. Hope your day gets better" or something to that effect. Good boy, well played. He's learning how to handle irate women (a very necessary skill, in my opinion).
Back home I went and came crashing into the house as quickly as I possibly could. Tanner, who hadn't yet left for school, just watched me with his mouth open. I explained what had happened and he said, in classic Tanner fashion, "You'll probably need to change clothes." Really? Ya think?
I raced upstairs and peeled off my fruity smelling sweater, shirt, slacks and even my bra. I threw them in the tub and threw on new stuff as fast as I could. When I got back downstairs it was time for Tanner to go and I was running late. I grabbed a couple of kitchen towels and got them wet to wipe off my seat, steering wheel and seat belt (I have one word for you-STICKY). I told Tanner to have a good day at school and headed for the van. Tanner says, "Hey mom, there's shake in your hair." And on my glasses and on my shoes.
Yep, just another Tuesday.
I was up and ready in plenty of time to make it to work not just on time today, but early. I would even have time to drop off Aidan on my way. Today was to be my 3-month evaluation at work. Call me crazy, but I was excited and looking forward to it. I ironed nice pants. I put on mascara. I really HATE putting on mascara. I complimented myself silently about making the effort to look a tad bit better than average today.
My new morning routine (now that I have a job and have a routine) includes making myself a protein smoothie which I drink as my breakfast. It makes me happy. Why? Because it fills me up, it's yummy and it's easy to take with me to work. Yep, that's me- all together and makin' my protein smoothie in the morning. La-dee-da! Feeling this good about myself this morning, I should have known that disaster was looming around the corner.
Aidan and I made our way to the van and headed off to his school. About half way there I picked up my QT cup (GOOD GAWD, people, I MISS QT!) to take a drink. Picked it up, not by the handle, which would have made the morning turn out just fine, but by the lid. At which point, the entire cup (It's a 34 oz. cup about 1/2 full) dropped straight back down into the cup holder. The lid was apparently not on all the way (rookie mistake). But, honestly, this is WHY I carry the drink in a grown up version of a sippy cup. I am not the most graceful person on the planet (sorry if you had other ideas about me). I know what I'm capable of and it is not pretty.
The force with which the cup fell was supersonic or something b/c it literally exploded all over me, between the seats and center console of my van, as well as all over the dash and driver's side window. Aidan, sitting in the passenger seat, was spotless. I pulled over immediately and tried not to speak. As I looked for napkins, I glanced at Aidan who looked, well, petrified. Pretty sure he thought my head was going to pop off.
After patting at the mess with a few meager napkins (anyone for cleaning up an entire bucket of water with one Kleenex?), I decided to continue driving Aidan to school. I dropped him off and he said, "Sorry about your shake. Hope your day gets better" or something to that effect. Good boy, well played. He's learning how to handle irate women (a very necessary skill, in my opinion).
Back home I went and came crashing into the house as quickly as I possibly could. Tanner, who hadn't yet left for school, just watched me with his mouth open. I explained what had happened and he said, in classic Tanner fashion, "You'll probably need to change clothes." Really? Ya think?
I raced upstairs and peeled off my fruity smelling sweater, shirt, slacks and even my bra. I threw them in the tub and threw on new stuff as fast as I could. When I got back downstairs it was time for Tanner to go and I was running late. I grabbed a couple of kitchen towels and got them wet to wipe off my seat, steering wheel and seat belt (I have one word for you-STICKY). I told Tanner to have a good day at school and headed for the van. Tanner says, "Hey mom, there's shake in your hair." And on my glasses and on my shoes.
Yep, just another Tuesday.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
When Did September Happen?
I haven't blogged since July? Really? My last blog was about Rue. She is healed and doing great. She even has some fur on her bottom half now, helping her to look a lot less ridiculous. It's still not as long as the rest of her fur, but one more haircut ought to even her out.
A lot of good has happened in the last month. I was due for some good juju out here and so glad it finally found me. The kids both started back to school. Yea for schedules and routine! I was able to land a J-O-B, finally! Yea for a paycheck (which will happen only once per month, but yea all the same)!
I finally got my California Teaching Credential (applied for that in May, just got it this week). So, now I can teach in California, well sort of. I still have to take the CTEL (California Teachers of English Learners) exam to become a classroom teacher. In related news, I DO NOT have to take the four classes I thought I was going to have to take! Thanks to some investigating (thank you Carla) and meeting with the district's credential analyst, I was able to cross that off my list of things to do. Never.Been.So.Fricking.Happy!!!!!!!!!! I'll take a 7 hour exam over 4 college courses any day of the week.
In the mean time, I am working as an instructional assistant (also called a para educator) about 20 hours a week in a great school. I am learning a lot about how the schools out here work. It's very different in some respects, just the same in others. The teacher I'm working with went through the same process I have been going through when she moved back here from Kansas. She's an amazing teacher and we work extremely well together.
The first day I was there, I taught the 2nd grade group (13 students). It's a combo class, so the other 13 students are first graders. This is something quite different from what I'm used to. But, I just took her plans and dove right in.
One thing I will be sure about until the day I die-I was meant to be a teacher. It was as if I'd found the part of myself that had been missing since coming here. Me and myself were like peas and carrots again!
Good juju, indeed.
A lot of good has happened in the last month. I was due for some good juju out here and so glad it finally found me. The kids both started back to school. Yea for schedules and routine! I was able to land a J-O-B, finally! Yea for a paycheck (which will happen only once per month, but yea all the same)!
I finally got my California Teaching Credential (applied for that in May, just got it this week). So, now I can teach in California, well sort of. I still have to take the CTEL (California Teachers of English Learners) exam to become a classroom teacher. In related news, I DO NOT have to take the four classes I thought I was going to have to take! Thanks to some investigating (thank you Carla) and meeting with the district's credential analyst, I was able to cross that off my list of things to do. Never.Been.So.Fricking.Happy!!!!!!!!!! I'll take a 7 hour exam over 4 college courses any day of the week.
In the mean time, I am working as an instructional assistant (also called a para educator) about 20 hours a week in a great school. I am learning a lot about how the schools out here work. It's very different in some respects, just the same in others. The teacher I'm working with went through the same process I have been going through when she moved back here from Kansas. She's an amazing teacher and we work extremely well together.
The first day I was there, I taught the 2nd grade group (13 students). It's a combo class, so the other 13 students are first graders. This is something quite different from what I'm used to. But, I just took her plans and dove right in.
One thing I will be sure about until the day I die-I was meant to be a teacher. It was as if I'd found the part of myself that had been missing since coming here. Me and myself were like peas and carrots again!
Good juju, indeed.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
The Dog Whisperer, I am NOT!
So, 8 days ago (8 days, 6 hours, and 26 minutes, but that's a rough estimate) my sweet little dog Rue had some major surgery. She's been recovering from having both back legs operated on to repair 2 luxated patellas, aka-trick knees. Yes, my dog does tricks. She does the kind of tricks that empty our bank account. She's REALLY good at it. But, I love her and would do anything for her (evidenced by the fact that we are now back in some major debt).
She is quite possibly the cutest dog E-VER! She also has "pitiful and pathetic" down pat. Do you need a pathetic looking dog for a commercial? Please, call me! It's about time Rue started to earn her keep. How about this:
"Want to keep your dog from having to wear the cone of shame? Click here to find out how we can help!" You'd totally click, wouldn't you? Since I can't seem to get a job out here, maybe it's Rue's turn to step up. She puked in the cone of shame about 5 minutes after this photo was taken. Because we weren't already having enough fun that day.
Anyway, back to her recovery. I have literally become the mother of a toddler all over again. And I have to say it's not something I was really missing. My life is how many times has Rue pooed and peed today, has she had enough water, is it time for her pills, is she trying to bite/lick her stitches? I am exhausted!
Remember that phase when you couldn't be out of your baby's sight or they would immediately start whining or crying? My boys both went through this stage more than once and at various ages, but I haven't had to worry about it for a LONG time! This is Rue, right now. If I am sitting at the computer, she has to be right next to me. Like right now. This is Rue sitting next to me as I type this. Hi Rue Rue!!
If I'm in the bathroom, she's whining until I come out. I remember this. She doesn't do it for the boys or Eric, just me. The same way Aidan and Tanner did it. What's my point here? Well, besides just venting a bit, my point is that I'm too old for this shit! I'm so glad to not have my baby parts anymore, because I just don't think I could survive that stage of Motherhood again.
She's also not being a very good patient anymore. After 8 days being stuck in her bed, who can blame her? I'm not supposed to let her walk until day 10. But, that's easier said than done. She's only 2 and she has a mind of her own.
This is SO the right dog for me, by the way. When people tell me I can't do something, I tend to nod and do it anyway. Kinda like Rue just did while I was writing this.
She won't even look at me. She knows she's not supposed to be out of her bed. Sneaky little shit. God, I love this dog!
She is quite possibly the cutest dog E-VER! She also has "pitiful and pathetic" down pat. Do you need a pathetic looking dog for a commercial? Please, call me! It's about time Rue started to earn her keep. How about this:
Anyway, back to her recovery. I have literally become the mother of a toddler all over again. And I have to say it's not something I was really missing. My life is how many times has Rue pooed and peed today, has she had enough water, is it time for her pills, is she trying to bite/lick her stitches? I am exhausted!
Remember that phase when you couldn't be out of your baby's sight or they would immediately start whining or crying? My boys both went through this stage more than once and at various ages, but I haven't had to worry about it for a LONG time! This is Rue, right now. If I am sitting at the computer, she has to be right next to me. Like right now. This is Rue sitting next to me as I type this. Hi Rue Rue!!
If I'm in the bathroom, she's whining until I come out. I remember this. She doesn't do it for the boys or Eric, just me. The same way Aidan and Tanner did it. What's my point here? Well, besides just venting a bit, my point is that I'm too old for this shit! I'm so glad to not have my baby parts anymore, because I just don't think I could survive that stage of Motherhood again.
She's also not being a very good patient anymore. After 8 days being stuck in her bed, who can blame her? I'm not supposed to let her walk until day 10. But, that's easier said than done. She's only 2 and she has a mind of her own.
This is SO the right dog for me, by the way. When people tell me I can't do something, I tend to nod and do it anyway. Kinda like Rue just did while I was writing this.
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