Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Dental Debacle

I had to go get some dental work done last week which continued into this week.  Old filling had to come out, porcelain overlay had to go on (kind of like a crown), two new fillings to be filled.  I don't know anyone who *likes* to go to the dentist.  I don't usually freak out or anything.  But, perhaps I should have been a bit more cautious.
First things first, they can apparently make your partial crown "while you wait."  It's like Lens Crafters "Glasses in About an Hour" thing only for teeth.  So I go in and they numb the entire right side of my face.  The dentist sets to work getting out the old filling and then takes pictures digitally and on the computer screen right in front of me they design my overlay.  While that is being made, he and his assistant fill another cavity that I have.  Side note:  I could NEVER be a dentist or a dental hygienist.  They need buttons for you to push so that you don't have to try and answer questions with your mouth numb and full of pointy drills and such.  My buttons today would have been:  "I'm OK.  That hurts.  and Quit asking me questions!"
Fast forward and my overlay is ready to be put in/on.  The assistant has gone to another room, but the dentist wants to see if the partial crown is going to fit.  I open wide and he puts it on what's left of my tooth.  It's on the upper right hand side.  Immediately this feels a bit precarious to me.  I mean what is holding that thing in place??  He goes to take it off, pleased that it is a prefect fit and BOOM, just like that this little piece of porcelain is not on my tooth anymore.  It's on my tongue.  At least I think it's on my tongue because why else would I immediately start gagging and trying to expel this foreign body from my mouth?  Remember I am NUMB people, so the whole right side of my face is sagging and here I am trying to spit up a *tooth.*
"Don't panic" the dentist says.  Too late.  The assistant rushes in and says (I swear like a mother scolding a five year old) "you shouldn't have started without me."  Ya think???
They get me up and I start shaking out my shirts hoping to see this little white thing drop onto the floor or show up somewhere.  But, nothing!!  I go to the bathroom and take off my shirts, look in the bra, everything.  Even though, I stinking know it's not there.  I am pretty sure I swallowed the little sucker.
I put myself back together and head back to my little torture chamber.  Two assistants and the dentist are down on the floor.  "I think I swallowed it."  I say.  The dentist concurs because (and I quote)  "I didn't see anything fly out of your mouth while you were gagging and coughing."  I'm sure that was a picture worthy of the cover of Cosmo.  Lovely.
So, guess what?  They make another one and while I wait (again) the dentist explains to me that "this too shall pass" so to speak.  MOR-TI-FIED, PEOPLE!!!  If I could've written this whole post in CAPS without completely annoying myself, I would've.
Just to wrap up and conclude this riveting little story, I now am the proud owner of not one, but 2 porcelain overlays.  One you can see and one you can see in a few days.
Next time you go to the dentist, I hope you think of me and at least giggle a little.  Only not when there's a little overlay in your mouth.  Don't do that, K?

1 comment:

  1. Awesome! I've never managed to swallow mine, and I've had a few myself!