It has been a long time since my last post. While I've thought many times in the last 2 and a half months about writing, I've never seemed to MAKE the time. But, today I knew I HAD to make the time. Why? What's so amazing that I have to share it? Did I get an award? No. Did I win the lottery? No (and I wish). Did Adam Levine show up at my house and ask me out on a date? Sadly, no. But, this story is what my blog is all about. Who do you want to tell when you really make a mess of things? Your friends. So, my friends, here is a little story about how your graceful and talented friend Jen ended up wearing her breakfast. Enjoy!
I was up and ready in plenty of time to make it to work not just on time today, but early. I would even have time to drop off Aidan on my way. Today was to be my 3-month evaluation at work. Call me crazy, but I was excited and looking forward to it. I ironed nice pants. I put on mascara. I really HATE putting on mascara. I complimented myself silently about making the effort to look a tad bit better than average today.
My new morning routine (now that I have a job and have a routine) includes making myself a protein smoothie which I drink as my breakfast. It makes me happy. Why? Because it fills me up, it's yummy and it's easy to take with me to work. Yep, that's me- all together and makin' my protein smoothie in the morning. La-dee-da! Feeling this good about myself this morning, I should have known that disaster was looming around the corner.
Aidan and I made our way to the van and headed off to his school. About half way there I picked up my QT cup (GOOD GAWD, people, I MISS QT!) to take a drink. Picked it up, not by the handle, which would have made the morning turn out just fine, but by the lid. At which point, the entire cup (It's a 34 oz. cup about 1/2 full) dropped straight back down into the cup holder. The lid was apparently not on all the way (rookie mistake). But, honestly, this is WHY I carry the drink in a grown up version of a sippy cup. I am not the most graceful person on the planet (sorry if you had other ideas about me). I know what I'm capable of and it is not pretty.
The force with which the cup fell was supersonic or something b/c it literally exploded all over me, between the seats and center console of my van, as well as all over the dash and driver's side window. Aidan, sitting in the passenger seat, was spotless. I pulled over immediately and tried not to speak. As I looked for napkins, I glanced at Aidan who looked, well, petrified. Pretty sure he thought my head was going to pop off.
After patting at the mess with a few meager napkins (anyone for cleaning up an entire bucket of water with one Kleenex?), I decided to continue driving Aidan to school. I dropped him off and he said, "Sorry about your shake. Hope your day gets better" or something to that effect. Good boy, well played. He's learning how to handle irate women (a very necessary skill, in my opinion).
Back home I went and came crashing into the house as quickly as I possibly could. Tanner, who hadn't yet left for school, just watched me with his mouth open. I explained what had happened and he said, in classic Tanner fashion, "You'll probably need to change clothes." Really? Ya think?
I raced upstairs and peeled off my fruity smelling sweater, shirt, slacks and even my bra. I threw them in the tub and threw on new stuff as fast as I could. When I got back downstairs it was time for Tanner to go and I was running late. I grabbed a couple of kitchen towels and got them wet to wipe off my seat, steering wheel and seat belt (I have one word for you-STICKY). I told Tanner to have a good day at school and headed for the van. Tanner says, "Hey mom, there's shake in your hair." And on my glasses and on my shoes.
Yep, just another Tuesday.